Of Curses and Clichés
by Kuroi Diamond
Summary: Lady and Dante. Stuck together and more. Your favorite fan-fiction clichés, but as you've never read them before. Dante smartmouths, Lady gets angry. Everyone wins.
1. Bad awakening

Disclaimer: Devil May Cry does not belong to me. If it did, I'm not sure what I'd do with it… Except for putting more Lady and Dante love-fights in it.

* * *

Lady awoke with the sun on her face and an ache in her head.

She squinted against the light as her head swam, and tried to think why she would be waking up in so much pain. Unfortunately, the memory of the night before had deserted her.

Groaning, she rolled over on the unfamiliar mattress to get away from the sun and found herself suddenly resting atop of something…

A warm and breathing something.

Her face paling, Lady opened her eyes to find her cheek pressed against a man's muscular torso. She took one look at the mystery man's face and screamed.

Loudly.

Dante (for he was the said man) immediately shot into an upright position and winced.

His head hurt too.

"Wha? Wazza time? There demons 'round?" He asked stupidly in his half-asleep state.

A red flush arose on Lady's pale face "The only demon around is you! Why are we in the same bed? No, the same vicinity!" She cried.

Dante's sleep filled blue eyes cleared, and he grinned roguishly at the seething demon huntress next to him.

"Heh, wondered how long it would take for me to bed you.' He remarked, lying back casually with his left hand behind his head "too bad though, I guess I got too fucked up last night and I don't remember shit.' He turned to Lady and a lecherous look spread across his face "So… Was it good for you?"

Dante barely had time to think before Lady was on top of him, her knee digging into his throat. A fire burned in her two-toned eyes "Good… For… Me? Like hell! What the fuck did you do to me, you bastard?" She demanded.

Dante stared up at the beautiful girl, and despite her knee cutting off his oxygen, he still managed to admire her taut thighs. He wished that somehow, the situation was just a little different.

He pushed aside her knee so he could speak. "Firstly, I didn't do Jack to you that I can remember and secondly, if you wanna preserve your modesty you should probably cover up, though I kinda hope you won't."

Lady glanced down at herself and yelped, realizing her white blouse was wide open at the front (her bra seemed to have vacated the area) and because her bottom half was covered by neither skirt nor pants, her underwear were rather proudly baring themselves to the grinning hybrid beneath her.

Dante laughed as Lady scrambled for the bed sheet, wrapping it around herself until she resembled a furious mummy.

"Stop laughing, devil boy! It isn't funny!" She yelled, on the verge of shrieking.

"Come on babe, chill.' Dante said, raising his empty palms in a sign of peace "How about you get back into bed and we do some… overtime." His eyes travelling the curves of her body just visible beneath the sheet.

She narrowed her eyes "Fuck you."

Dante raised an eyebrow "Well, yeah. That's about what it translates to." He winked at her and she blushed crimson.

"That's it! I don't know what happened last night, and I'm not sure I want to! All I know is that my head hurts, I woke up next to you, and I never want to see you again. _Ever_!" She yelled, her voice bordering on hysterical.

Dante's eyes widened "Whoa, hold up babe! Calm down!" Sure, they had their differences, but Dante enjoyed her company. The prospect of never seeing her again didn't exactly thrill him.

"Oh, save it!" she yelled, marching for the door.

She barely got within reach of it before an invisible force picked her up and threw her back towards the bed. For a second time that morning, Lady found herself landing atop Dante.

They just stared at each other, shocked.

"Umm, hi?' Said Dante lamely "Looks like things are a little more complicated than I first thought…"

Lady just nodded. Sometimes, words just don't seem to cut it…

* * *

Heh, this has been done a million times, but it's always fun.


	2. Demon shower party

"No! I refuse, FULLSTOP!" The walls of Devil May Cry shook.

Lady tried to get away from Dante but just ended up being thrown back against his chest. He grinned.

The short of the situation was that Lady and Dante couldn't seem to move more than roughly a metre away from each other without being thrown violently back together. Though Dante had joked it was his sheer animal magnetism, Lady was adamant it must be some sort of curse. Dante had proposed they search for a solution after showering and some breakfast.

Lady wasn't having it.

"I am not going to stand around while you are naked in the shower, and there is no way in hell I'm going to take one with you in the room." She stood with her hands on her hips looking furious.

"Come on, babe!' Dante whined "I can't wake up with a hangover and go without a shower; I'll never wake up properly." He actually pouted and Lady wasn't sure if it was cute, annoying, or just plain disturbing.

"No." She said firmly, folding her arms across her chest.

"Well, if we don't shower then we're gonna be enjoying each other's company less." Dante pointed out.

Lady paused, realizing she had no idea as to how long they were going to be spending stuck together, and an unclean Dante would be even harder to stand than a clean one.

… Damn.

"Oh, alright! But you'll have to come up with a blindfold or something, because there isn't any way in hell you'll get me into that shower if you can see me."

Dante frowned "It's not like I haven't seen you naked before." He said and Lady's cheeks went red.

"Nothing happened, demon!" She hissed and he grinned.

"Whatever. I bet you actually remember and just don't wanna let on that you liked it."

Lady through a roundhouse kick at his head, and though it didn't really hurt him, he let himself fall. This of course activated the curse and Lady was pulled on top of him in the second he hit the floor. Eyes widened, she scrambled off him, muttering obscenities in her frustration.

Dante picked himself up, grinning and Lady glowered at the ivory-haired hybrid.

"Nothing bloody happened, and if it had, I highly doubt you'd be walking straight." She said, attempting to walk past him. Dante grabbed her wrist

"Whoa, what are you saying?" Lady had managed to arouse his curiosity. Perhaps not the usual thing she aroused, but still, he was interested.

Sighing, she removed her hand from his grip "I'm saying that if we actually had done anything then I would have bested you in every way, shape and form."

Dante's eye twitched "Hey, did you just imply you're better in the sack then I am?" He wondered if she was flirting with him, but he felt too insulted. That, and she was continuing on in a deadly serious tone.

"No, I didn't imply it, I said it."

He snorted "I don't think so, babe. Nobody is better than me. Human, demon or hybrid. I take the cake." Dante sounded so sure of himself (and ridiculous) Lady almost laughed. Instead, she shook her head.

"Nah-uh, I am better. I would have made sure you were using a walking stick for the next three weeks." The second she'd said it, Lady wished she hadn't. Sometimes her ego just got the better of her.

Dante walked towards her, his icy-blue eyes glinted playfully. Lady took a tentative step back, not wanting to be thrown onto him when he was looking like that.

"Oh, yeah? Prove it." He challenged, backing her against the wall.

Lady refused to be intimidated by the half demon, and placed a hand against his bare chest, preventing him from advancing any further. Using the wall as a brace, she stood on her toes so she could look at him eye to eye.

"In your dreams, pervert." She said and moved around him. Dante smiled and followed her towards the bathroom. She thought she had gotten the better of him…

Wait until she found out there was only ever enough hot water for one shower.

Entering the bathroom, Lady leaned against the sink. Dante stared at her and she stared right back.

"What?' She demanded "You showering or not?" Dante raised a silvery eyebrow.

"Yeah, but I thought you didn't want to see me naked?"

Lady then realised she was staring right at him and looked away, her cheeks flushed scarlet. Grinning at her embarrassment, Dante quickly discarded his pants and boxers and stood in front of the shower.

"Hey Lady, The shower only ever has enough hot water for one person, you wanna join me?"

Lady whirled around, furious, and was about to open her mouth when she remembered he was naked. She focussed on his face, trying not to let her eyes venture downwards.

"Why didn't you tell me before, you idiot? I could have had the first one!" She cried.

Dante frowned "How the hell is sticking me with the cold one fair?" He asked.

"Ladies first." She stated simply. Dante rolled his eyes and flashed her a toothy grin.

"Chivalry the hell, babe. How 'bout we just share?"

Lady scowled "I'd rather be covered in demon dust."

Dante's grin went from lecherous to just plain evil "You get the cold shower, then." He said, but almost choked at what he saw her do next.

Lady began yanking her borrowed shirt over her head "Hell no, I am _not _freezing my ass off because you _suck_." She said.

Dante couldn't believe what she was doing, though she turned away from him as she removed the shirt.

_Even her back is sexy…_

He was disappointed when she wrapped a towel around herself and finished peeling off her underwear. She turned around and glared "Move it, demon."

Dante didn't budge "I'm not gonna let you leave me with a cold shower"

She walked right up to him "Move." She said again.

Still, he ignored her demand "No."

Lady's mouth twitched for a second into a smile evil enough to rival Dante's and pushed him inside the cramped shower stall.

"Slow down, babe!" Dante laughed.

"I'm not doing anything, demon! I'm just making you move so I can take my shower!" She growled, making him turn away from her and turned on the spray.

Dante grinned as he heard the shower curtain rustle as she pulled it shut and he tried to turn.

She slapped him.

"Ouch…" He moaned, facing the wall, disappointed.

There was a moment of silence in which Lady became very aware of Dante's form next to her in the shower. Not really thinking, she let her eyes travel down his muscled back for a second.

She gulped, he was attractive, so what? It didn't change the fact that half his blood was the same as the thing she hunted daily. Surely that was reason enough not to be interested.

_Naked in the shower with Dante, pray this is just a nightmare_ She thought grimly.

"Hey, Lady?" He was still turned away from her "Can you wash my back for me?" He asked.

She blushed "No! What kind of a stupid thing to ask is that?" She demanded.

"Well, I can't turn around or you'll slap me and even if I could reach the washcloth, if I touched you by accident you'd kill me." He said.

Alright, so he had a point and his tone sounded serious, but Lady would bet anything he was grinning like a maniac.

"Fine." She growled, maybe he'd regret it when she scrubbed him raw…

Her thoughts changed immediately when she took another look at his pale back, the compact muscles slick and gleaming with water.

It seemed almost criminal to damage something so good looking, even if he was a demon.

_Half demon_ She corrected herself, but then immediately told herself to shut up.

Lady took a nervous breath, and began to tentatively wash his back, hardly able to believe she was agreeing to do it. She would just have to try and think about it professionally.

Dante closed his eyes and sighed at her touch so quietly, human ears wouldn't even be able to pick it up. Lady easily finished the top half of his back, but hesitated on washing any lower.

"What's wrong?" Dante asked, opening his eyes and just barely stopping himself from turning around.

"Uh, Dante? I'm not washing any lower." She said and his face fell.

"Why not?" He asked, though he knew why.

"Because!" Lady knew he was feigning ignorance, but still felt embarrassed.

"Well can we at least change places so I can rinse?" He asked.

"I'm not turning my back on you, you'll look at me." She answered, still hot with embarrassment.

"You won't have to. I'll just move around so I'm not lookin' at you. It's simple, babe."

Lady glared at his back "Don't you 'babe' me." She muttered.

As Dante moved so did Lady so she was always facing his back, making sure he wasn't sneaking any sly looks.

Dante chuckled "See? No problem, you just have to go and make a drama outta everything, huh? Man, all chicks are the same."

Lady had had enough of his smartass attitude "Shut UP!" She raised her hand to punch him but Dante turned faster than any human could and grabbed her wrist. He leaned in slightly so Lady was trapped against the shower wall

Lady struggled against him but stopped when she looked into his eyes. He actually looked pissed off at her.

"Would you do me a favour and stop trying to hit me? Look, I don't know how long we're gonna be stuck like this, so let's just try to be civil, okay?" He said it quietly and seriously, right next to her ear. Lady tried very hard not to shiver at the close contact and nodded. Her heart felt like a trapped butterfly, it's wings fluttering inside her chest.

Dante grinned, the normal humour returning to his eyes "Good girl." He said, releasing her. Lady actually did shiver then, the loss of his body heat somehow unexpected.

Lady often forgot how easy it was for Dante just to dominate… Well, pretty much everything. The last time she had been on the receiving end of that was during their fight in the library that time… She actually still bore a few scars from that. However, every time Dante caught sight of them, she couldn't help but notice the softening look in his eyes. Maybe even he forgot just how powerful he was compared to her.

Lady shook it off and regained her usual composure "Don't patronize me, you pervert demon." She muttered.

Dante just sighed, so much for being civil. Then again, being constantly insulted sure beat the hell out of being smacked in the head by a chick.

* * *

Yep, it's all the clichés you love and love.


	3. Phone! Sorry, inside joke

"So what do you think it is? It's obviously a curse of some kind."

Dante shrugged and picked up another piece of cold pizza. He and Lady were seated at the front desk of Devil May Cry, eating breakfast. Well more accurately, Dante was eating breakfast; it turned out the half demon didn't really care much for grocery shopping and the only consumable substances in the fridge were day old pizza and some milk that may or may not have been passed its sell-by date...

Lady had just opted for milk, the encounter in the shower before had stolen her appetite and was holding it ransom. Lady growled inwardly.

It could have it.

Dante didn't really think being stuck with Lady a bad thing, but it would make fighting a bitch, so figuring out a solution did actually register quite high on his list of priorities. However, breakfast was first on that list, so he just stared at Lady and chewed.

"Uh, hello? If it is a curse, what do you think we should do about it?" She asked impatiently and took a sip of milk, trying hard to ignore the taste.

"Dunno… Curses were never my forte. If you wanna open a portal and ask Vergil about it, be my guest.' He said and Lady glared at him. Dante shrugged it off and continued "See, I reckon the best way to kill something is to put a bullet in its head, not curse it." He finished, putting his feet on the desk and rolling his eyes when Lady made a face at his bad etiquette.

"Do you at least have some idea of where to start looking for a solution?" She asked him, feeling slightly desperate. If Dante didn't know what to do then she would quite possibly have to kiss privacy goodbye and bury it six feet under. And she had no shovel.

Even if Dante wasn't bad to look at, it was still a prospect scarier than all hell.

She brightened when Dante seemed as if he was thinking about it. After a while, Lady tapped her foot impatiently…

After a full (annoying) minute, Dante snapped his fingers and Lady's face lit up. He leaned forward, and so did she, eager to hear his solution. Dante opened his mouth and said;

"I have… No idea."

Lady's face immediately fell. It looked like she would have to borrow that shovel after all… A look of anger followed quickly as Dante sniggered at his own joke.

"Don't piss me off, Dante. I have had a very, very rough morning."

A playful look settled on his face "Not nearly rough enough by my standards." He said evilly.

Lady's eyes flashed "I mean it!" She growled.

Dante's expression hadn't changed "Oh, I know. It's just kinda hard for me to take you seriously with a milk-moustache on your face."

Lady looked defeated and leaned back in her chair, quickly licking the milk off her upper lip.

Dante made a disappointed face "Now I could have done that for you."

Lady just gave Dante an 'Oh, give me a break' kind of look and folded her arms.

Dante look ready to say something else and Lady readied herself for being disgusted, but the phone rang, interrupting him.

Yanking it off the receiver, Dante put it to his ear "Sorry, closed due to… illness."

The voice on the other end laughed slightly "Oh, you want to hear this, believe me Mr. Dante."

He frowned "Okay tough guy… You seem to know me, what's your game?"

A rush of static indicated another laugh "No game. It is simply that I need to hire both you and Miss Lady for a job. I need you to work closely together to ensure the job's success, but as I have observed you, I have come to realize that despite your obvious attraction to each other, you both seem to prefer to childishly dance around each other and it interferes with the quality of your work. In order to counter it, I placed that little curse on the two of you so you could learn to… appreciate each other's company."

Dante stood suddenly, his chair crashing to the floor and Lady looked up in surprise.

"Asshole! You think you're funny, wise guy? You get off on interfering with other people's lives?" Dante yelled into the phone. The voice laughed again.

"Yes indeed I do. Forgive me, but believe me, you'll want this job; I'm offering $20,000 in cash for you to do it. Oh, and you can't refuse or I won't take the curse off, it works better for all of us if you just cooperate. I'll call you again. Ciao, son of Sparda." And with that, the mysterious voice disconnected, leaving a seething Dante, crushing the phone in his hand.

"Dante? What happened, who was that?" Lady touched his arm lightly.

He looked down, struggling to regain his composure "Well, the good news is we have a job…"

* * *

Gotta love cliché's!

But the plot thickens! So much that it reminds me of whipped cream, which incidentally reminds me of other things... Heh.

Anyway, the title of this chapter comes from the time a friend and my sister were in art class and the phone went and nobody answered it and my friend said 'Phone!' in the way you might imagine a severely demented parrot would say it. I thought it was funny.


	4. I have to

Lady gulped and opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. Dante didn't notice as he was too busy polishing his silver-white gun, Ivory.

"Dante?" Lady said quietly and felt embarrassed as soon as he looked up.

"What's up, babe?" He asked nonchalantly, not noticing her body language indicated she was severely uncomfortable.

She hesitated "I… I have to…" She trailed off.

He smiled devilishly, which one can imagine is quite appropriate.

"What? You have to tell me how good looking I am? You have to give me a backrub?"

Lady bit her lip, and blushed so hard that it spread all the way down to her neck. In fact, Dante would have wagered it extended all the way down to her toes…

"Dante!' She whispered desperately.

She sounded serious, Dante thought it sounded as if she needed to confess something, but was afraid…Leaning forward in his seat, Dante looked into her eyes "What is it, Lady?" he asked gently and she ducked her head to stare at her feet.

"I have to… I have to go to the… Bathroom."

…Silence.

Lady frowned "Dante? Uh, hello? Hey, you in?" She waved a hand in front of his face, which seemed to be frozen mid-way between anticipation and shock.

A curious mix indeed.

Eventually, he flopped back in his chair sighing

"This just keeps getting better and better…" He grumbled.

* * *

I want to keep this chappie short, just because, well, it's funny as it is. I don't wanna ruin it by added more.


	5. Bad wardrobe day

"You look really hot in my clothes, babe."

Lady just growled under her breath, and hitched the too big pants up as they were threatening to slip down the slender curves of her hips.

"I'm just wearing them until we can get some clothes from my place, don't go getting any funny ideas."

Dante just shrugged, she couldn't take a compliment, fine. But he was telling the truth, the black jeans and vibrant red t-shirt were completely out-sized on Lady and hinted at the gorgeous, elfin figure underneath. Dante had tried to get her to wear his black leather pants and red vest, but she had (forcefully) declined.

"I refuse to look like some down on her luck hooker, who dresses to match her pimp." She had said, indicating his similar outfit.

"Babe, I wouldn't pimp you out to any guy even if I could, I'd want you all to myself." His reply had been.

Lady's skin had taken on the hue of a beetroot.

So, after several verbal fights and an attempted murder of a certain red coated devil, the pair finally set off. Walking along the pavement in the direction of the bar and strip joint (which Lady wrinkled her nose at in disgust) Dante remarked at how much time had passed since he had first met Lady. The space in which Temen Ni Gru had once towered above the ground like the thumb of some dark god was now an abandoned construction site; the work had been suspended after a few of the builders had claimed to have gotten "creepy vibes" from the place.

And just like the site, Lady had too; she was no longer the cold and spiteful warrior Dante had first met and been shot at by… One too many times. Then again, she still did that on certain occasions. But still there was something different now…

She smiled at him now. Dante, a demon, technically one of the guys she hated so much. He stole a glance at the young woman who trailed along next to him.

Her hair fell softly onto her face, and her mismatched eyes were focused down onto her feet. Her face was a mask of concentration as she tried hard not to trip over in the borrowed pair of boots she wore.

Dante's eyes slid to her lips and he was reminded of the moment after their battle in the library, when he had leaned in to claim those lips with his own…

Lady had uttered a sound of disapproval and turned away. Dante had in turn stopped and felt foolish, how the hell could beating her change her opinion of him? He'd brushed it off at the time, but how stupid he had felt.

He sighed, but couldn't quite seem to draw his eyes away from her lips…

They were the soft pink of new rosebuds, and all he wanted to do was press her against the wall of the building they passed and…

Dante walked into a pole.

"Ow! God DAMN it!" He yelped, rubbing his head even as the pain faded. The shock had certainly been enough.

"You okay?" Lady asked, bemused.

Dante nodded "Fine." He growled, pissed off at his lack of concentration.

"What were you looking at?" She inquired.

Dante kept walking "Nothing… Nothing I'm getting in this lifetime." He muttered.

* * *

Yes, I know its short, but so are all the other chapters, so do me a favour; don't complain about the length of the chapters (or lack of length, thereof) and start complaining about the content.


	6. Mismatched Mania

Lady unlocked the door to her apartment on the second floor of a small building, a few blocks away from Devil May Cry. Dante hadn't been there before, and hovered outside as Lady walked in.

She turned around, frowning slightly in confusion "What's with the hesitation?"

Dante shrugged "I'm waiting for your invitation."

Her frown deepened "You're not a vampire, Dante. You don't need an invitation."

He grinned at her "I just wanna know you trust me, babe." He said, walking forward and Lady placed an arm against the door frame. Looking into Dante's blue eyes; her mismatched ones narrowed.

"Who said I trust you?"

Dante faltered for a moment but then she moved with a sighed "Come in."

Following her inside, Dante watched as she grabbed some clothes from a laundry basket then looked over her shoulder at him with a glare.

"Turn around, and don't even think about looking."

He rolled his eyes, but obeyed, turning to look at the rest of the apartment. It was simple enough, and would have looked quite normal if it weren't for the amount of weapons scattered about… A big sofa chair sat in front of a coffee table but no TV could be seen, and a small kitchenette was located at the far end, next to a door he guessed lead into Lady's bedroom.

The dirty thoughts evaporated from Dante's head as he became distracted by the sound of a tap dripping into the sink. His drawn into the kitchen area, Dante noticed a small fern plant on the kitchen windowsill.

His eyebrows rose slightly, he hadn't known Lady liked plants. The idea of her taking care of another living thing was, well, new to him. It was hardly surprising considering the occasions where she had actually kicked him in the crotch…

_Well, guess that sorts out a birthday present for her_.

Dante suddenly frowned at the thought; come to think of it, he didn't actually know when Lady's birthday was…

The sound of a throat being cleared interrupted his thoughts and he turned around. Lady stood there, wearing a fresh white blouse and blue jeans. Looking at her face, Dante was surprised; both of her eyes appeared brown.

"What's up with the eyes?" He asked, making sure he was seeing straight. Lady looked a little confused at first before getting what he was talking about. She passed it off with a wave of her hand as she walked into the kitchenette, Dante following "Contact lens." She said, picking up the fern plant and taking it to the sink where she started to water it.

It didn't really answer Dante's question, so he asked a new one "Why are you wearing it?"

Then, Lady turned on him with a deadly serious expression "I don't want to be associated with that bastard anymore." She said coldly, putting the fern back down on the window sill a little harder than necessary.

Dante frowned, he knew just how much Lady hated Arkham, so tried to divert the conversation slightly "So, why brown? You could have had blue like mine."

Lady turned away from him "My mother had brown eyes." She said.

Dante uttered a small "Oh…" and fell silent.

For a long while, the only sound that could be heard was the continuous dripping of the tap, but eventually Dante felt he just had to say something "Look… I'm sorry; I guess I kinda didn't know what I was saying."

Lady shook her head, turning back to the white-blond hybrid "No, you didn't say anything wrong. Besides, you couldn't have known." She still sounded a little wistful and though he wanted to lighten the mood, Dante didn't really know how. Everything that came to mind seemed far too insensitive.

_Damn, _He thought to himself _when did I start caring 'bout that?_

Lady was also feeling a little uncomfortable because she realised Dante hadn't said anything stupid or perverted for a while. His seriousness made his beautiful face seem much more mature and so unlike him.

_Because it makes him look far too much like his brother_ Lady thought.

All of a sudden, she felt she just had to do something to get that look off his face. She could tell he was struggling for words and thought it best to do something about it before he said the wrong thing.

"Dante…" He looked up at her, and the words just died in her throat. He looked like he expected scrutiny, but there was no defiant scowl, no joking smile…

He looked like a kid waiting to be punished, strangely innocent and even slightly scared. Lady was absolutely stunned; did her comments actually mean so much to him?

Lady gulped, she really hated to think she had caused that look on his face.

Dante was to her… A partner, a friend even. She knew he was a good person, despite his demon blood. She just couldn't stand seeing him looking needlessly hurt like that.

"If anyone should be sorry, it's me… I know you actually try to get along with me now, and I just never not make it easy… So I'm sorry, really."

Dante clearly had not expected that from her, Lady had always seemed too full of pride to apologise… But maybe he had read her wrong.

"Uh… It's okay; sometimes I'm not the easiest person to get along with either." He said earnestly, shrugging. He turned his head towards the window, but was really watching her out of the corner of his eye. It seemed she was doing exactly the same.

Both stood like that as another excruciating silence took hold of them.

Lady eventually looked up again "I… Guess we both need to work on stuff…"

Dante nodded, he just didn't have anything to say. Usually when emotions came into light, he'd hide behind his cocky exterior and ignore them if they hurt.

Why couldn't he bring himself to do that with Lady?

"Why do you make me feel like I have to be honest with you all the time, Lady?" He said murmured, not really meaning to say it out loud. She looked at him, her eyes agonisingly innocent

"What do you mean, Dante?" She asked cautiously.

He couldn't even think of how to explain it. All these stupid feelings… For somebody like Dante, it was just plain draining. He shook his head and moved closer to her then looked her square in the eye "I don't know, okay? I don't even get it myself."

Lady could tell how conflicted he was feeling, and without even thinking of the repercussions, leaned forward and hugged him. He was stiff for a second before he relaxed, but he didn't return her embrace, unsure if reciprocating would make her angry or not.

Lady drew back after a while and looked away, embarrassed.

"… I don't know why I did that." She made to turn away but Dante caught her by the shoulders, turning her to face him properly.

Her eyes were wide and Dante realised he didn't know why he'd stopped her. He had nothing to say. It's just that he didn't want her to freeze up again. Her eyes were so damn beautiful; full of innocence, a little fear and… Something else.

It was all too much for him.

"Lady…" He said quietly, leaning down, his face nearing hers…

They were interrupted by the blaring ring of the kitchen phone.

Dante drew back and glared briefly at the phone before turning back to her.

"Leave it…" He whispered, his hands travelling from her shoulders down her arms.

But Lady was already pushing him back; she was scared as hell by what she'd almost let herself do. That phone was her excuse to get away and she was damn well going to use it.

Though he moved, Dante still protested her leaving him "Lady! Come on, just leave it!"

She didn't answer him, and grabbed the phone off its hook "Hello?"

Static crackled for a bit before a voice came through "Miss Lady, how are you this wonderful morning?"

She froze, the voice was charming enough, but she never trusted anyone for their voice "Who is this?" A soft chuckle could be heard

"Oh, don't worry about that. I was just wondering if things between you and Mr. Dante are improving or not."

Lady knew then who was on the other end of the phone "You… You're the man who did this to us. The client." She said and in a split second, Dante had yanked the phone out of her hand; she didn't even notice it was gone until she looked down to see her hand empty (which cued a major "what the fuck?" moment for the poor demon huntress.)

"You!' Dante snarled into the receiver "What the fuck do you want?" Lady shrunk back at Dante's violent tone.

"Tsk, tsk, Mr. Dante. Such language to use with a woman in the room." The mysterious man said.

"If you had observed us a little closer, you freaking pervert, you'd know Lady swears one hundred times worse than I do. Why are calling us here?' Dante muttered angrily "How'd you know we were here?" He couldn't help thinking if that bastard hadn't called; he might be mouth to mouth with Lady at that moment.

Maybe even more…

"Something has… Come up. I wish to test your fighting abilities in your current, shall we say, situation. This is your little head's up. Goodbye… I hope it is not for good."

The man disconnected, and Dante turned to Lady calmly.

"What's going on?" She asked, seeing the look on his face and knowingly reaching for the combat knife strapped at her thigh.

"It's a good thing you took that call." Dante answered her, drawing out Ebony and shooting the lesser demon that was looming up behind her.

Lady spun around, surveying the mass of demons invading her home.

"Fuck.' She muttered "Party time, right Dante?"

He sighed, training the black gun on a demon "Right… Party time."

* * *

I can't update as much now, the law says I have to go to school.

You can count the cliché's in this chapter if ya like, the main one being the whole; 'The phone rang and interrupted the hot couple action' thing.


	7. Death of A fern

"This has been' Said Dante, sitting down on the sofa chair "a complete waste of my time."

The sofa chair collapsed.

Lady stared at the seething (and stuck) half-demon for a moment and then turned to survey the assorted chaos that used to be her apartment.

"Everything… Why did everything have to break?" She said weakly.

Dante pulled himself out of the remains of the sofa chair (but not without some effort.)

"Sorry 'bout this, babe. Lesser demons don't really have much grace when it comes to swinging their scythes around."

She nodded, wide eyed, stumbling over to the kitchen, Dante following.

"Hey? Lady, you okay?" He asked.

"No." She replied bluntly and Dante winced, it was obviously worse than he had first thought.

He personally was used to demons smashing his place up. When he was in the right mood he almost enjoyed it. He noticed Lady was staring at something; her fern plant, which lay in two pieces on top of a pile of dirt on the floor.

She blinked rebellious tears from her eyes, hoping Dante hadn't seen.

He had.

"Hey, don't worry. I'll help you fix the place up." He said, voice softening. Lady sniffed.

"Can you fix dead plants?" She whispered.

Dante was stunned, was she really crying over a plant?

Lady knew exactly what he was thinking, but she had loved that fern. Embarrassingly enough, she had actually been trying to come up with a name for it.

Maybe it had to have something to do with the stress of the day and now losing her precious plant because at that moment, Lady felt a warm tear slide down her cheek.

Dante groaned inwardly, what was he supposed to say? Sorry your plant broke?

He got a little closer to her, not enough to really invade her space, and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Don't cry, Lady… Hey, it's going to be alright. Maybe we can plant the root, see if it grows back."

Lady stiffened for a second, but all of a sudden, she felt like smiling.

He was being sensitive, offering solutions. Something he hadn't done when they first met.

And they might be able to save the fern.

Lady couldn't help it. She turned, and threw her arms around his neck.

A light blush leapt to Dante's cheeks at her sudden embrace, but he couldn't say he was displeased. Lady drew back, a sunny smile on her face "Thank you, Dante." She said.

Dante managed to respond "Yeah, no problem…" He sounded a little breathless.

Her face coloured slightly as she stood on her toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Dante's eyes grew to saucer-like proportions.

"Come on, let's clean this place up." Lady said, playfully hitting his shoulder. Dante just nodded, stunned.

It struck him then, maybe he should offer solutions more often…

* * *

Just a little update to prove I'm not dead.

The cliché is a little hard to spot; you know that really annoying thing when people introduce a kitten or worse, a puppy?

I did the fern, because I refuse to go that far… But I can tell you now; there will be a "cat" soon. But for an entirely different cliché. Hehehehe- *chokes*


	8. Not the dream thing!

Lady wiped sweat off her brow and looked around the apartment.

It had taken the entire day, but the place was actually beginning to resemble a dwelling again. Dante was, of course, bored stiff.

Literally.

His back hurt from all of the menial labour and he was glad they had almost finished. Strangely enough, fighting demons never hurt him that much. He put it down to being used to that kind of work out. This whole housework thing was new to him.

A small sigh of boredom escaped his lips and Lady looked over to him.

"You can take a break if you like." She said, sweeping up wood chips, the remains of her coffee table. Dante shot her a thankful look and stretched, trying to ease the stiffness of his back "Yeah, maybe I will."

He took a few steps away from her and was flung back, knocking into her and sending them both to the floor.

_Damn. Guess I forgot about that._

Dante rubbed his head to ease the pain where it had collided with the ground "Hey, sorry 'bout that, babe, kinda forgot"

Lady cleared her throat and Dante noticed the vein pulsing in her temple "If you don't remove your hand, I'll remove it for you, along with the hand from the wrist." She said from between clenched teeth.

Dante looked down to see his hand had somehow ended up inside her shirt during the fall. He yanked it out before she could do anything damaging to him. He just wasn't in the mood for pain, however moderate, at that moment. He gave her a sheepish 'hey, it was an accident' look and stood up, courteously putting out a hand to help her to her feet.

She ignored the hand, pulling herself up.

Dante rolled his eyes "Sheesh, and to think that this morning you were all over me."

It was Lady's turn to roll her eyes "If you call a friendly kiss on the cheek 'all over' you, then maybe I shouldn't try to be friendly at all."

Dante looked dismayed for a second before resuming his usual attitude and turning away, muttering "Women."

Lady felt a little bad for a second, she hadn't any reason to be mad at him; it was just that she was tired from putting the apartment back together. He had helped her after all, even saved her fern plant. As Lady opened her mouth to apologize, she noticed something on the floor by Dante's foot.

Her eyes widened and she gulped.

The laundry basket must have been tipped over during their fall, as the contents were scattered all over the floor.

But Lady just had to curse her bad luck at the particular item of clothing that was sitting right by Dante's feet.

Panties.

Black, lacy, _see-through _panties, to be precise.

_Oh… Damn it… _She thought to herself.

Determined not to let him see them, she attempted to distract him "Dante!"

He turned around, looking tired "What now?"

She gulped again; she had no idea what to say

"Um... The, err, ceiling!"

He looked up, confused "The ceiling is fine, what are talking about?"

Lady swore inwardly "But, no it's not, you see the… stuff… In THAT corner!" She gestured wildly to the far corner of the ceiling, all the while her eyes flickering back to the traitorous, showy underwear on the floor.

And Dante, being Dante, decided to look where she was looking, rather than at the place she was pointing to.

_Fuck._

He grinned maniacally "Now what do we have here?" He said, stooping to pick them up.

Lady froze in horror and her mouth practically dropped to the floor as he leaned in to inspect her undergarments.

"Well, I wonder why you weren't wearing these when we woke up today. I tell ya, babe; that would have made the experience even more enjoyable."

Lady went crimson "Drop them." She whispered, tone full of rage.

Dante looked at her, face as innocent as he could make it "Why? I'm not doing anything wrong."

And yet again, something snapped.

"DROP THEM!" She yelled at him, her embarrassment fuelling her anger to breaking point.

Dante shrugged and chucked them at her.

They landed on her head.

"Jackpot!" Dante cried, wishing someone was there to give him a high five.

Beneath the panties, Lady fumed.

_I'mgoingtokillhimI'mgoingtokillhimI'mgoingtokillhim_

The anger was so strong that she felt as if everything was disappearing until only it remained…

That is until she felt strong hands wrap around her waist and pull her against a warm, muscular body.

The underwear were removed from her face and dangled teasingly in front of her by Dante, who leaned in and whispered into her ear "You know babe, the next time I take these off you, I hope you'll actually be wearing them."

Even though his seductive whispers sent shivers up her spine, Lady tried to ignore it "Keep dreaming, demon." She whispered back.

He chuckled lightly, and slowly began to caress her stomach, causing a moan to rise from low in her throat. Lady tried to recover herself, but the sensation of his breath on her neck and his hands steadily dipping lower made her want to give in to temptation right there and then…

"Lady?"

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of Dante's concerned voice.

She looked around wildly, Dante was at a safe distance (well, as safe as the curse would allow) and there were no offending panties being held tauntingly in front of her.

"Hey, you're dead on your feet, babe. You should take a break." Dante looked a little worried.

Lady nodded, still wide-eyed and slightly confused.

She'd had nightmares before, oh yes. But that dream had certainly taken the cake in terms of freakiness.

* * *

The classic 'It was all a dream cliché!' I'm just loading on the clichés now.


	9. I'm asleep kiss me!

Dante's stomach hurt.

It probably had something to do with not having eaten for a while, but he sort of felt it had something to do with stress. Being nice and not annoying was hard work and usually after hard work, Dante liked an icy cold beer… But Lady didn't seem to have any in her apartment.

"I'd sell my soul for something alcoholic right now." Dante said wistfully.

Then, he noticed a bottle of surgical spirit located on top of the first aid kit.

He raised a finely sculptured eyebrow and looked downwards "Not funny, Vergil." He'd sort of gotten into a habit of blaming his brother whenever something seemed to mock him. Damned elder twin.

Dante knew his brother was an asshole, but he missed him…

Sometimes.

"What can I say bro? You wanted to stay." He said aloud, shrugging.

Lady, who lay asleep in her bed, gave a small sigh, drawing his attention to her. Dante knew he should shut up, if she awoke, she'd probably be pissed.

He grinned.

Boredom made Dante restless; he didn't deal with it well and now he wanted to play. Unfortunately, boredom also made him rather stupid… He was sitting on the floor by the bed, as Lady wouldn't let him share. This had been, in Dante's opinion, just a little rude of her…

"Payback time, babe…" He whispered, crawling stealthily onto the bed. Lady lay on her back, raven-black hair falling softly onto her forehead with a little on the pillow. The sight of her partially open mouth made his grin widen wickedly.

Discarding his crimson leather coat and black undershirt (which Lady had insisted he put on when they left his shop) he crawled along to her sleeping form. Carefully, he straddled her waist, making sure not to move around too much. The game would be over if she woke up early.

He gazed down at her sleeping face and made a truly evil face at her serene expression. Dante leaned down until his lips were an inch from hers. If all went well, Lady would think she'd dreamed everything…

He ran his tongue over his lips once, and then captured her mouth with his own.

_Gotcha._

Suddenly, he became aware of Lady responding to his kiss, her tongue darting over his lips…

…Before he felt the cold of a gun being pressed to his bare chest.

Lady pulled the trigger.

Dante flew off the bed, hitting his head on the wall and falling in a crumpled heap on the floor. He leapt up almost immediately

"Of for the love of…!" He stopped.

She was asleep.

The little vixen had kissed then shot him in her sleep.

Dante just stared, before muttering the obvious words;

"What the fuck?"

* * *

Cliffy… Ish. Dante makes dumbass decisions when he's bored, yes?


	10. Kick me why don't you

Dante paced.

The last time he had paced had been back in Temen Ni Gru as Agni and Rudra had bored the pants off him, discussing what a sigh was. This time unfortunately, because he couldn't move far, he was reduced to more or less turning around in a circle.

Dante felt dizzy.

He didn't really need much sleep, and ever since Lady had nailed him in the chest with a rather aggressive, Teflon coated bullet, he had been too freaked out to nap. However, he just felt lucky that wall she'd sent him flying into hadn't been too far from the bed, because if Lady had been woken up by flying violently into Dante with that gun in her hand, he was willing to bet more than his chest and head would've taken a beating…

He paused at the window; the faint bluish dawn light came through the gap in the curtain, and Dante could see pink streaks in the pale, indigo sky, signalling the rising of the sun.

He sighed, figuring he had about an hour or two before Lady woke up, which was good, he supposed. Dante needed time to think because what had happened last night had definitely been strange and unnerving; Dante didn't know what to think.

A large part of him though, wanted it to be that the two sides of Lady had fought it out in her unconscious mind. In all his egotistical glory, Dante was certain Lady wanted him, but he knew since it was her, she wouldn't just give herself over to him.

He smiled grimly, he had to admit the prospect of flirting with and teasing her to make her give in had its appeal, it even turned him on… But then again, his annoying sensitive side (of which he wanted quite badly to be rid of) kept telling him he didn't want her to feel trapped or tricked into anything… And he certainly didn't want to make her feel helpless. That would just make her come to hate him again. Dante did want her to feel safe, but he wasn't willing to let that get in the way of his fun.

He felt like kicking himself in the head for giving her so much thought.

It wasn't as if he was in love with her or…

Dante stopped, not wanting to think anymore. Gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes closed, he chastised himself.

_Don't think it, don't think it at all. If you do it means that it's true on some level, so shut up._

He tried to relax, to calm down but as Lady sighed gently; his attention was drawn to her sleeping form and his heart sank…

"Oh… Fuck me dead…" Dante whispered.

She looked so damn innocent with her hair spread messily across her forehead and clutching her pillow tightly. And just to make things worse for Dante, the pale dawn light illuminated her clear, alabaster skin, cruelly touching on all her gorgeous facial features.

Dante gulped, really considering the whole kicking himself in the head gig.

"Fuck it." He said, not willing to hang around this girl who made him loose himself so much.

One wonders how he could forget yet again that he was bound to her by magic. And as he was flung onto the bed, Dante began praying she wouldn't wake up.

But of course, when a one hundred and ninety pound human-demon hybrid is thrown on top of you, there isn't really a snowball's chance in hell you won't wake up. Of course Lady was, thankfully for Dante, in a rather forgiving mood, due to her having a good night's rest…

But there was that snowball analogy again that she would ignore it.

"Dante…" She growled sleepily.

It took him a minute to respond, it was really soft and warm lying there…

"Sorry, I fucked up. I'm getting off."

She yanked him back down and Dante froze as she whispered into his ear;

"I think you did that on purpose, Dante."

He grinned "So what if I-" a rather large gun barrel was placed underneath his chin "–did…"

Lady sounded serious, but her words didn't seem to match her tone "If you want to be in this bed, you better take off the coat."

… _Come again?_

Too shocked to do anything else, Dante obeyed and took off his crimson leather coat he had put back on for warmth. As he did, he thought he caught Lady taking a good look at his muscles and his usual confidence returned.

"Any other demands, babe? I can take off the pants too…"

Her gun pressed into his neck "Just keep talking."

Dante didn't really want her to stop whatever it was she was doing, so immediately shut his mouth. Lady gestured to the bed cover

"Under" was all she muttered.

Dante did not hesitate to obey.

Once underneath the soft covers, Dante made the mistake of speaking again "Next time you want to play, maybe we can leave out the dangerous toys, I already have one, you know."

Lady bought the gun so close to his eye that he felt if he so much as blinked, he'd end up in a truckload of pain.

"Shut up, you idiot. I'm not asking for anything kinky, you looked cold and tired and I'm not getting up yet, so quit yapping and go to sleep."

Dante almost nodded, but thought better of it.

Lady replaced the gun in whatever secret place she let it reside in and rolled over.

But was Dante going to let her have all the fun?

Put it this way, is water wet?

Lady yelped as Dante pulled her against him and struggled helplessly in his arms.

"What? Come on babe, did you think you could get away with holding a gun to my head like that?" He whispered in her ear.

Lady could barely conceal her shiver of pleasure at being pressed to his warm and naked chest.

"This is the price, babe." He said, suddenly sleepy.

Lady was stiff in his hold for a long time before she realised he had fallen asleep.

She briefly considered trying to free herself, but couldn't deny that she enjoyed the sensation of being held by him.

Lady felt… Safe.

So with his arms wrapped tightly around her, Lady too drifted off, feeling content.

Chapter. Yes.


	11. Pink cannon ball

Outside as the sun rose, the birds sang and the dew on the grass glistened like precious jewels.

Inside, however, Lady bit Dante on the arm.

"Ouch! What the hell, Lady?" He yelped and jumped out of the bed, not at all pleased with her way of waking him up.

"What?" She asked innocently, looking as if it were the most normal thing in the world for her to have done. Dante glared at her, rubbing where she had bitten him, even though any damage it had done had long since cleared up.

He just wanted to make her feel sorry.

"You. Bit me. On. The _arm_.' He said, exasperated "Why? You could have just, I don't know… Gently shaken me awake?"

Lady just stared at him with a smartass look on her face "Oh, you mean what I've been trying to do for the past half-hour?" She asked sweetly.

Dante stopped, his mouth already open with an immature response.

He _did_ have a reputation of being a heavy sleeper. Once, he had slept through a couple of demons crashing through his roof and had only woken up when one had imbedded its scythe in his torso.

"Grr." He said finally, baring his teeth.

Lady waved it off "Grr yourself. And put a shirt on, we're going out for food."

Dante may have had a rough time lately, but the mention of breakfast made his eyes light up. Lady barely concealed a smile at the happy look on his face, as much as she hated to admit it, it made him look adorable.

They just stood there for a minute, Dante looking starry-eyed and Lady looking impatient.

A vein pulsed in her forehead "Dante…" She growled and he snapped out of his day-dream of waffles and pancakes

"Hm?"

The vein pulsed harder "Turn around, damn it! I have to get dressed!"

Dante's trademark grin appeared on his face

"Oh, right… Do I have to?"

Lady gripped his shoulders and forcefully turned him around "You're impossible." She said, almost fondly.

Dante's grin widened.

Soon enough, the two were on their way to find breakfast. Lady hadn't realized how hungry she was, she couldn't even remember the last time she ate. Of course, finding somewhere that wouldn't give them food poisoning would be difficult; there weren't many decent places in their area of town.

"Hey, you know anywhere good?' Lady asked Dante "And we are not getting pizza for breakfast." She added hastily.

He flashed her a toothy grin "I was thinking somewhere I haven't been for a while, you ever heard of Riko's?"

Lady frowned in thought "The name doesn't sound familiar…"

Dante took her hand suddenly, surprising her a little "Come on, we can get good stuff there for cheap."

He led her to a dark alley, which made her raise her eyebrows "What are you trying to pull?" She asked suspiciously. Dante squeezed her hand

"I know what I'm doing… Trust me, babe."

And oddly enough, she did.

Reaching the end of the alley, Lady frowned at the solid brick wall, she looked at Dante questioningly and he reached out the hand not holding Lady's to touch the wall.

Lady hoped he'd wash that hand before he ate…

He turned to her "Okay babe, the deal is this isn't really a wall, to a human, yes, but to someone with demon blood it's a gateway."

Lady looked curious "To where?"

Dante grinned again "Somewhere." He answered annoyingly.

She rolled her eyes.

He continued on "You have to keep hold of my hand, okay? If you don't you'll end up stuck in the wall."

Lady gulped.

Dante laughed "You're not afraid of a wall, are you?" he asked and she hit him on the arm

"Can we go now?"

He nodded, pushing his hand against the wall and to Lady's surprise, it sunk into it.

"Hold on." He said, walking into the wall.

Lady closed her eyes as the wall drew near. When she dared open her eyes, she gasped.

They were in a huge market place, far more colourful than the streets on the other side of the wall.

Lady was dazzled as she gazed at vendors selling different coloured silks and exotic looking fruits. Two children ran past her giggling and that was when she noticed something strange about the inhabitants.

"Dante… Those kids had horns… And they were blue." She muttered. He nodded.

"Yep, welcome to Sanctus Blanc, everyone here has demon blood.' Dante laughed at the look on her face "Calm down, babe. This place is a sanctuary for anybody with human and demon blood. Full demons don't exactly invite us over for tea and cookies, ya know."

Lady's mouth was still wide open "I didn't even know a place like this existed…" She remarked, staring at a man, easily eight feet in height piggybacking a green-skinned woman who was laughing with delight.

Dante smiled "You weren't meant to. This place has been kept secret from the demons and demon hunters for over twelve centuries. It's rare that human parents stick around to take care of hybrid children, so not many get inside…' His eyes softened as a little girl with blue and orange striped skin fell and her fully human brother picked her up, wiping away her tears and making funny faces until she laughed instead of cried.

Lady was about to say something when she became aware of what looked like a large pink cannon ball, heading straight for Dante.

"Dante onii-chaaaaaan!" It cried happily, flinging itself around Dante's neck.

Lady just stared as she realized it was a small, pink-haired girl who was currently clinging to Dante like a limpet.

"Where have you been all this time? I missed you! Had any good adventures lately? I wanna hear about them! Have you been eating well? You better have been! Who's this?" The girl spoke rapidly and pointed at Lady, who was looking shell-shocked at the best.

"Hiya Riko. You seem well." Said Dante, mussing up the girl's shocking pink locks.

"Onii-chan! Stop that!" Riko giggled.

As soon as Riko stopped squirming, Lady was able to get a better look at the pink girl.

She was about four foot in height, with large purple eyes and fluffy white cat's ears. She was cute and looked about twelve years old.

"Riko, meet Lady. Lady, meet Riko." Said Dante, placing the hyper child down.

"Ooo! She's a human!" Exclaimed Riko, running around Lady in circles who was becoming dizzy trying to keep up with the kid.

"Um, hi. I'm a friend of Dante's." Mumbled Lady.

Riko looked delighted "Onii-chan has a girlfriend! Yay! When are you gonna get married? Can I be a bride's maid?" She started bouncing up and down.

"Whoa, slow down, sport!" Dante said, feeling just the tiniest bit embarrassed.

"Pleased to meet ya, Lady Onee-san! I'm Riko, Dante's lil' sister!"

Lady looked surprised "Sister?"

Riko stopped bouncing "sorta sister' she amended "Eva took me in when I was three, so Onii-chan's mom is my mom so that makes Onii-chan my Onii-chan!"

Lady was becoming confused so Dante stepped in.

"My mom looked after Riko for a while when she was little, it's been a while since we've seen each other… Hey, how old are you now, sport?"

Riko bit her lip and started counting on her fingers "Um…. 18." She said finally. Lady almost fell over

"Wha? 18?"

Dante laughed "She's part feline demon, Lady. Their bodies don't age very fast."

Lady immediately began wondering how old Dante was.

"Onii-chan! Are you hungry? Do you want food?" Riko was bouncing so fast she became a pink blur in Lady's eyes.

"Breakfast would be great." Dante said.

Riko dramatically made the peace sign "Okay! Breakfast it is!" She took off at such a high speed; Lady could have sworn she had left behind a Riko-shaped cloud of smoke.

"Damn.' Dante groaned "We'll never catch up to her. Let's just hope I remember where her place is." He stared forward, but stopped when Lady didn't follow.

"You coming babe?"

Lady still looked a little stunned from her encounter with the pink cat girl so Dante took her hand and pulled her into the throng of people.

"Riko tends to have that affect on people."

* * *

Riko is only gonna be around for the next chapter (and the last official chapter. Hehe, you'll see why)

It's the OC cliché, add a little brother or sister.

And just for the people who are a little rusty in their Japanese;

Onii-chan: Big brother (this is a bit of a cross between the formal Onii-san and the more casual Nii-chan.)

Onee-san: Big sister (this is the respectful way to say it.)


	12. Blinded by love or the deco

Disclaimer: Devil may cry not mine, ugh

* * *

Lady couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the café's outside deco.

With all the pink glitter and the giant sign boasting 'Riko's' in flashing purple neon's, it looked more like a strip club then a café.

Dante noticed the look "Okay, I know what you're thinking and I can tell you it looks nothing like that inside."

Lady was still sceptical "Uh-huh…" She murmured.

Rolling his eyes, Dante pulled her over to the entrance where he made the mistake of winking at a scantily clad, blue-skinned nymph.

Lady whacked him one.

Inside however, Dante was proved right; it really did look completely different then the outside;

It was almost like a living room, with over-stuffed white and pink stripped sofas and arm-chairs scattered around polished coffee tables on which were vases full of flowers.

Waitresses dressed in pink and white uniforms with frilly aprons took patrons orders, actually chatting with them too.

Cute, bubbly sounding music set the atmosphere along with soft lighting and the chatter of patrons.

"See? What did I tell you babe?" Dante led her over to a vacant table and almost immediately, Riko popped up from nowhere, scaring the heck out of Lady.

She grinned at them "Welcome! Onii-chan, Lady Onee-san, what can I get ya?" Riko passed them both menus then whipped out a little pad of paper and a pen.

Dante began his insanely large order while Lady stared at Riko's tail, which was wagging more like a dog's then a cat's _a tail… A tail, I didn't notice that before… A tail…_

"Babe? You gonna order or shall I do it for you?" Dante waved his hand in front of her eyes and when Lady didn't respond he shrugged "She'll just have the special and a glass of orange juice." He said to Riko who nodded so fast her head seemed to blur "Yoshi! Okay-desu, I'll be back in two shakes of a Beowulf's tail!" She then ran off, almost colliding with another waitress and leaving behind her trademark Riko-shaped cloud of smoke.

Dante shook his head sighing "Sometimes I think that kids part cat, part human, and part caffeine." He said, smiling fondly.

"She has a tail…" Lady muttered, fiddling with the tassel of a sofa cushion.

"What? Oh, yeah… Say, Lady… Riko is, well, I know she's really hyper and everything back she's really kinda sensitive." He looked over to the kitchen area, where Riko was currently apologizing to a bunny-eared boy who was on the floor, with a knife stuck in the tiles uncomfortably close to a certain part of his anatomy.

Lady stared at Dante with curious eyes, not fiddling anymore.

"See, her mom was a human and I don't know the details, but she was probably raped by Riko's father.' Lady looked at Dante in shock.

"When Riko was born, her mother rejected her, refusing to raise something that wasn't human… My mom… Eva… It's lucky she found her, or Riko probably would have died.' Dante leaned forward, rubbing his head like he had a migraine

"Virgil and me… Riko was… Is like a sister to us, but when mom died and he disappeared, I bought her here. She's happy, but some kinds of damage just can't be undone, you know?"

Lady did know, she had seen her own father kill her mother, and spent years training to become strong enough to make that bastard pay.

She also knew that it just wasn't possible for a wound of that size to completely heal.

"I know…" She whispered, placing her hand on top of Dante's.

He smiled at her and she smiled back, vision blurring a little…

"Watcha doing?" Sang Riko, staggering up to them with a few dozen plates and glasses, some of which were precariously balanced on her head.

Lady tried not to laugh "Um need some help?" Riko beamed at her "Help would be good!"

They managed to get everything down on the table without anything breaking, which was a miracle within itself.

Lady was amazed at the speed of which Dante ate, in fact, despite the amount of food he ordered, he managed to finish before Lady had gotten half-way through her French toast.

Riko bounced up to Lady's side "Nee, Lady Onee-san, Onii-chan's great isn't he?" She whispered.

Lady immediately blushed "Um… Err, he's alright…" She stammered, making Riko giggle "I really, really love Onii-chan, he's my only family… But you love Onii-chan too, right? But not the same way I do?"

Lady glanced over to Dante, who was reading a motorcycle magazine he picked up from the table.

She looked at his gorgeous face and smile, thinking about how much he had helped her out.

Riko noticed Lady's faint smile and blush "Heh, it's okay; you don't have to answer that… I think I know the answer."

She ran over to Dante, flinging her arms around his neck "Don't worry 'bout the bill, Onii-chan! It's on the house!"

As they left the café, Lady felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted off her chest.

But there was still a nagging feeling there, and she really didn't know how to get rid of it.

Dante's hand accidentally brushed against hers, and she gulped _Oh god… Maybe I… Maybe I should say something…_

She took a deep breathe "Da-"

She stopped as she saw his face, he was staring at something, and not in a friendly manner either.

"What's wrong?" She asked quietly, not wanting to alert whoever or whatever he was looking at.

His frown deepened "That guy over there… God knows how he got in here…"

Lady spotted a well-dressed man with greying hair walking over to them.

Dante scowled "A freakin' warlock… God damn…" His hands went to his holsters as the man drew closer.

He stopped in front of them, violet coloured eyes sparkling "Greetings, I trust you know who I am."

Both Lady and Dante recognized his voice at the same time.

"The client…"

* * *

Heh, yes… Moving it along a bit now.

Questions will be answered in the next chapter, like; why the hell would he stick them together in the first place?

Let me just say, it has something to do with dancing… Muhahahaha!


	13. What do you mean by dance?

The warlock smiled cheerfully at the pair, who stared at him with suspicious gazes.

He looked quite handsome, but strange. His shoulder-length hair was silver, but not with age and complimented his violet eyes perfectly. His skin was smooth and pale, flawless except for the faint trace of a scar running from his brow to his cheek, skipping over his left eye.

"I feel I should start off by apologising, I realise it must have been difficult having to get used to each other's company, I wouldn't have cursed you, but unfortunately it is consequential that this job go correctly."

Dante growled quietly, trying to calm the urge to draw out his twin guns and shoot the bastard in his smiling mouth "How about you explain just what the hell is going on?" He said in an unusually dark tone.

The man raised an elegant silver eyebrow "Now, now. There is no need to take that tone." He said and turned to Lady "Ah, Miss Lady… Still as lovely as ever" he said, then bent on one knee and kissed her hand.

Dante exploded.

"LOOK you son of a bitch!' he began, yanking the warlock to his feet by the lapels of his plum-coloured suit jacket "either you start explaining now and stop wasting my time, or I introduce you to the business ends of my guns!"

The warlock barely reacted, simply sighing "Very well, as you refuse to be calm, I will explain." He gently removed Dante's hands from his clothes.

"My name is Alexander and as you probably have figured out, I am a warlock. Recently I have run into a spot of trouble with some associates of mine. You see, they have stolen a very important item from me, could prove to be very dangerous in the wrong hands."

Dante nodded grudgingly "Okay… And just what is this…. Item?" Alexander smiled again "That I cannot say." Dante's eye twitched angrily "I hope you're not gonna ask us to retrieve it for you, because firstly, we don't have a god damn clue what it is, and secondly, we're not a fucking delivery service!"

Alexander began to look just a little bit frustrated "If you would let me finish explaining, you will find out what I wish for you to do, or would you rather be stuck to Miss Lady like this for the rest of you days?" He said, violet eyes flashing.

Dante glanced at Lady, thinking for just a moment that it wouldn't be _too_ bad being stuck with her forever, but shook it off "Fine, go ahead."

Alexander continued "Well, my associates, other warlocks and witches as it just so happens, are not as… Calm as I. In fact, they have let their powers get to their heads, they seem to think that humans are not worthy of sharing the world with them. They have some twisted idea that my invention will help them eliminate humans. Therefore, it seems you don't really have any choice other than to retrieve it."

Dante suddenly looked very serious "I see… So you think these guys won't be too happy about us trying to take it?"

Alexander smiled rather unpleasantly "I very much expect so."

Lady hadn't said a word and decided it was time to ask the question that had been on her mind "Excuse me, Mr. Alexander? I was wondering just what sticking me and Dante together has to do with this."

The cheerful warlock turned to her with a rather frightening grin "Why, this way it will be easier for you to infiltrate their ball." He replied, making Dante and Lady look positively terrified.

"B-Ball?" They whispered in unison.

Alexander blinked, looking innocent "But of course, they have an annual ball coming up where they plan to unveil my invention. You will have to dance together, and I wasn't sure that you would unless I made you."

…

It should perhaps be noted that in the dictionary under 'Shock' there should be a picture of Dante and Lady at this very moment.

Alexander held out a piece of paper with the time of the ball to Dante, and when the shocked half-demon didn't take it, he put it in Dante's pocket for him.

As he began to walk away, he paused and turned "Oh and this is a masquerade ball, meaning formal wear and masks… Please be there on time, and do bring some big weapons."

Perhaps the only part of that sentence that appealed to Dane and Lady at that moment was the 'big weapons' part.

* * *

Soon, I get our pretties to dance together! In pretty costumes! WOOHOO!

*Crickets sound, and some old guy coughs in the audience*

Um… Well, yes.


	14. I need a dress! Bring on the gay!

"Big weapons… Big weapons, he says. Well, how the hell am I gonna hide them in this?" Lady mumbled, holding up a blue tube dress.

Sighing, the huntress tossed it back into the sales bin. She couldn't afford a new dress, not with the repairs that needed to be made to the apartment, and none of the sales items met the 'look the part whilst hiding the weapons' criteria.

Lady didn't actually have too many clothes, just some identical white blouses, a couple of pairs of jeans, some tank tops and the odd skirt and pair of shorts. Certainly nothing she could wear to the ridiculous masked ball.

That's why they were digging through the sales bin of a rather sketchy women's clothing store. Most of the stuff they stocked made it seem more like a fetish shop to Lady.

"Hey babe! What about this one?" Dante said, holding up a frightening black lace maid's outfit.

Gothic Lolita + Lady = Very Bad mix.

"Hey Dante! How about no?" She growled, tossing aside vinyl corsets, lace dresses and other somewhat worrying garments.

It wasn't fair; Dante could just go in one of his random flashy outfits. Lady began to consider herself unlucky "Argh! I give up! I'll just buy something expensive and not eat for a month!" She cried.

"Hey Lady… Take a look at this one." Dante said gently, trying not to piss her off, especially since she was standing next to a display cabinet of what looked horrifyingly like whips.

Lady turned to Dante, her mouth already open to say no but stopped when she saw the dress.

The floor-length skirt was white silk covered by a black mesh-like material embroidered with lilies. Two slits in the skirt meant it would be ideal if she had to fun and fight and the top half of the dress was ribbed made of black silk and did up with corset lacing at the back.

It may have been a little gothic for her tastes, but with a little work Lady would be able to hide her weapons under the skirt. Really, it was quite beautiful.

The only problem was…

"The price. Oh my god, Dante. I can't afford that! Even when we get the money I won't be making a profit." Lady tried to hide her disappointment.

Dante thought for a moment, his expression looking as if he was trying to make an incredibly hard decision. After a while he sighed.

"Okay." He took the dress up to the counter, Lady following. A man wearing a vinyl shirt, pink eye shadow and black eye liner was serving at the counter and as Dante approached, the man looked up and actually blushed. Dante smiled at him flirtatiously "Hi there… How are you today?" Dante asked the man, casually leaning against the counter.

The man's eyes swept over Dante "Not bad, handsome. And how are you?"

Lady's mouth gaped open. Not believing what Dante was doing _dear god… Can he sink any lower?_

Dante sighed, pouting slightly "Well… It's funny you should ask, because I wanted to buy my, err, sister this dress here, but there's no way I can afford it, and she so wanted to wear it to her school ball…" Dante managed to look forlorn, nudging Lady to do the same.

The vinyl-clad shop assistant smiled at Dante "Oh, that's just terrible! Say, how about I rent you the dress? And in return…" The man leaned in and whispered something in Dante's ear, causing the hybrid to blush a fantastic shade of scarlet.

"Oh… Err, okay… How's next Saturday for you?" Dante mumbled, blush not fading.

The man's eyes glittered "Can't wait darling… See you on Saturday!"

Lady couldn't seem to get her head around the situation and stared wide-eyed at Dante as he lead her towards one of the changing rooms.

"You're gonna go out with that guy just so I can wear that dress?" Lady asked quietly, trying not to laugh. Dante just glared at her and shoved the dress into her arms "Just go try it on." It occurred to Dante just then that if the dress didn't fit Lady, he had just been suckered into a date with a particularly swishy sales clerk for nothing.

Fuck, huh?

Lady shrugged and entered the changing room, closing the curtain. She had it in mind not to move around too much, or Dante would probably be dragged in with her and most likely at an inconvenient time.

As she began to unbutton her blouse, Lady double checked to make sure the curtain was properly closed, as she didn't quite trust Dante not to peek.

Unzipping her jeans, Lady began pulling them down her slender legs. She frowned when she couldn't seem to pull her shoes through the jeans.

Now, perhaps by some lapse of judgement, Lady tried to yank her foot out rather than taking off her shoes first.

She overbalanced.

She fell.

And Dante was pulled through the curtain, smacking into her and sending them flying against the back of the changing room.

It took Lady a while to access her situation _I'm trapped up against a wall by a half-demon, my jeans are around my feet, I'm only in my bra and panties, and he's not moving… Why isn't he moving? _Lady was stunned when the side of her that usually told her to shove him off and put an entire ammo clip into his head didn't speak up. Instead, the curious, adventurous side of her told her to wait and see what was going to happen…

Dante was shocked as he stared into her face. Her eyes were wide, her cheeks flushed, and her pink lips parted slightly.

He had been sexually attracted to Lady as soon as he had first met her. Hell, what kind of a sighted man wouldn't be attracted to a chick with a hot body that carries big guns around? Especially when they just randomly fall out of the sky…

But now, it wasn't just that he felt something aside from lust for her, it was also that he was so pent-up after wanting her for so long.

He'd be a damn fool if he didn't take this opportunity to do something, especially since the curtain had fluttered closed behind them…

Dante saw her move to speak, but before she could he crushed his lips to hers.

Lady gasped into his mouth when one of Dante's hands slid up her thighs and to her hips. He pulled back from her mouth and lifted her, moving between her legs and bracing her back against the mirrored wall. Feeling as if she might slip suddenly, Lady instinctively clutched Dante's shoulders.

Dante's free hand cupped her breast as he kissed her neck and she bit back a gasp. Lady wasn't really sure what to do. Even though it felt pretty damn good, she couldn't get over the suddenness of what he was doing in such a public place...

It turned out Lady didn't have to do anything as the curtain was flung open and the shop assistant stared at them in horror "Either she's not really your sister or you're one sick son of a bitch!" He cried, reeling back.

As Dante struggled to find an explanation, the shop manager turned away "You can forget our date!" He said sounding disgusted.

"And… The, ah, dress?" Dante enquired weakly.

"Keep it!' the man said "I don't think I want it back after you've touched it!"

And poor Lady just stood there, trying to hide her semi-naked body behind Dante as curious or just plain perverted shoppers stared at them.

* * *

Things are getting spicy! Yay!

Wow, that sounded stupid…


	15. Prelude to a confession

Lady slipped into her new dress with a rustle of silk and held it against her as she looked at her reflection.

It didn't look bad, but she was worried at how much it accentuated her bust line, she didn't really want to deal with any men at the ball staring at her cleavage all night. It wouldn't just be gross and annoying; it would make looking for Alexander's invention difficult.

Sighing, Lady hoisted the dress up a little further, trying to disguise her chest more "You can open your eyes now, Dante" She said blandly.

Said half demon did so and felt his breath catch in his throat at the sight of the elegantly dressed huntress before him;

The dress clung to every curve of her athletic body and she had applied a hint of subtle make up to her face. She never needed makeup, but it served to accentuate her features.

"You look… nice, Lady." He said, scratching his head nervously.

She blushed, but not from his words, she just felt so uncomfortable in his presence now, after his ill-timed stunt in the clothes shop.

"Could you do up the back for me?" She asked quietly, facing away from him.

Dante gulped, he really had blown it, she was cold-shouldering him rather than beating the shit out him. It could only mean she was through trying to make their rocky relationship work.

"Yeah…" He replied softly, approaching her and beginning to do up the silk ribbon laces at the back of the dress. He caught her eye in the mirror for a second and both quickly looked away.

_This is stupid! _Dante was yelling in his head _Just tell her how you feel, you idiot!_

"Gahh" He accidentally said out loud.

Lady frowned "I'm sorry? What was that?" If ever she had heard something that confused her….

Dante groaned, normally in the battlefield when he said something that served to embarrass him, he'd shake it off with some cool move and shoot a demon through the skull.

But this was an entirely different kind of battlefield.

"Lady… Please, would you just talk to me? Would you just tell me how you felt today? About what I did…" His hands rested on her bare shoulders and he gripped them tightly.

She stiffened as she stared at his eyes in the mirror; they looked dull and tired as he waited for her reply.

"I… I don't want to talk about it." Lady said as bluntly as she could, desperately trying to make him back off.

His nails dug into her skin.

"I just want to forget about it!" She said, almost wincing at her venomous tone.

"Don't give me that shit!" He practically yelled, spinning her around to face him properly.

"What is it, Lady? Is my demon blood why you won't let yourself be interested? You know I'm not like the scum that we kill, I know you know that! So why? Why do you keep telling yourself it's not true?" The words came out of his mouth in an angry rush and Lady looked shocked; his eyes were no longer dull, they were a fierce and vibrant blue.

She couldn't look away.

"I… It's not…' Lady's words had completely abandoned her; she wasn't sure what to say in the face of what his angry, desperate voice had pounded into her ears.

"I want to understand what you're thinking, Lady…' Dante's voice was soft as he pulled her against him "Make me understand…"

Lady squeezed her eyes shut as his knee pressed against her silken skirt and then pushed between her legs.

"Dante… Please don't…" Lady didn't want it to happen; she knew in her gut that if he wanted to give her a repeat performance of the dressing room incident, she wouldn't resist him... Even though she _knew _she would hate herself afterwards… And that she would hate him too.

How could she be content with hating him again?

But what was it? What did she truly want from him?

"Then make me understand." He said in a growl, sending shivers up Lady's spine.

"I don't know how!" She moaned, frustrated as he began unlacing the ribbons he had done up.

"What's your soul telling you, Lady?' His voice had shifted to a husky whisper "You of all people should be able to understand what your soul is telling you." Now only his hands held the dress in place, if he let go...

"W-Wait! Dante, please!" She hated the weakness in her voice, hated him, hated herself. She was just too overwhelmed.

"I have been waiting, Lady... For ages." Lady couldn't stand that his voice sounded so stricken and desperate.

"I promise… I will tell you exactly how I feel, but not now. I'm not… I'm not sure right now. But after the mission... By then, I swear I will have an answer."

Dante paused, his hands almost slipping from her body.

He'd been waiting so long… He could wait just a little bit longer.

His took his hands away, and Lady yelped as she grabbed the dress to stop it revealing more than she wanted it too.

"Okay." Dante said softly, turning away.

"Dante…"

"Yeah?"

"The dress."

"…. Oh."

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

And next time… Next time is the ball… And the "dancing."

Yes. Bwahahahaha!

I'm sorry they have gone a little emo, but this story is half romance and we all know that this kind of thing makes stupid people smart, smart people stupid and rough, tough and scary people emo. It's a given. BACK TO THE HUMOR! NEXT CHAPTER! RAWR!


	16. Dance till I make you bleed

_A/N: Some of this chapter is inspired by the nasty dance scene in Mr and Mrs Smith._

_Can't say I liked the entire movie, but some parts were great._

* * *

It was an amazing sight. People in ball gowns and colourful costumes danced across a black marble floor, their faces covered by glittering masks.

Lady's eyes hurt slightly behind her own mask; the sea of colours was so dazzling to look at, it made her eyes water.

The enormous hall was made entirely out of marble and was lit by demonic blue flames that resided in elaborate wrought-iron candle sconces. Dante was reminded uncomfortably of Temen Ni Gru and fought the urge to grab his concealed weapons and simply demand to know where the damned stolen item was. Instead he turned to Lady.

"Hey, you know how to dance?" He asked, just loud enough to be heard over the orchestra which was being played by people, Dante realized with a shock, had no heads.

At that moment, Dante wasn't in the best mood with Lady, but knew if they didn't dance, they would start to attract attention sooner or later.

Lady nodded "Kind of… My mother thought it proper for the women of the Arkham family to know how to ball dance" Dante almost winced at the acid in her tone when she said her former last name.

"Let's try to take a look around then." He said as the headless orchestra began playing a dramatic rendition of the Tango.

Dante vaguely remembered Vergil mentioning it was a better way to pick up girls than Dante's flirtatious banter. Of course, Dante had convinced him to teach the complicated dance to him.

Their mother had laughed for a full three minutes when she walked in to see Dante with a long-stemmed rose between his teeth and Vergil dipped in his arms.

So obviously, not one of the twins' finer teenage moments.

Gritting his teeth, Dante pulled Lady into the throng of dancers and the two immediately were enveloped by the music.

Well, Dante was. Lady clearly hadn't expected the dance to be so complicated and it was only Dante's hands that kept her balanced.

In his current mood, Dante couldn't help but smirk maliciously at her stumbling and tripping over her own feet, even when she yelped in pain when someone stood on her foot.

_Why is he grinning? Can't he see that I'm in pain? Just because he's a better dancer than I am is no reason to show off! Poser! Stop grinning you stupid poser! #$%^*^???_

If Dante had been able to read her mind right then… He would have exploded.

At a swell in the music they passed a marble pillar and Dante gripped her waist and swung her around so she collided painfully with the pillar.

Already mad, this blatant disrespect enraged Lady, and she stared briefly into his eyes before grabbing a handful of his red silk shirt and hoisting herself up to say a little something into his ear;

"You want to play rough, fine." She hissed, and he raised a slender eyebrow.

Before he could say anything, she twisted away from him, still holding onto one of his hands and twisted his entire arm around, making it look like part of the dance.

Well, aside from the look of surprised pain on his face.

Sure, Dante was pretty much used to most pain, but no enraged demon huntress had ever tried to yank his arm off before.

Recovering quickly, he yanked her back to him, his free hand moving through the slit in her skirt, grabbing her leg and making it wrap around his waist. The forcefulness of this strained all of Lady's leg muscles, but she gritted her teeth against the pain and gave him a look somewhere between a grimace and smirk.

Dante just smiled coyly as he dragged her across the floor, both of them oblivious to the attention other dancers where paying them.

By now, the two were covered in sweat and panting. As the music began to reach its end, Dante dipped Lady so fast her head snapped back, hurting her neck.

Grinning, Dante slid a hand up her body to stop between her breasts.

She looked like she was at the end of her rope, and Dante leaned in to kiss her as a way of saying "Loosing to me isn't that bad, babe."

As he fixed his mouth on hers, Lady bought a knee up to collide with a… Err, rather sensitive area for a man.

And she bit him.

Dante's eyes widened in shock and pain and he released her. The two were met by applause and looked around confused.

All of the masked dancers had apparently been watching the pair, unaware of the little feud that had been going on and were quite impressed by their "passionate" dance together.

Dante and Lady blushed, taking off in the direction of what looked like a bar.

It had alcohol, it would do.

It was a moment before they spoke to each other; both too busy drowning their emotions in liquor, forgetting the mission completely.

Dante scowled at her "You kicked me in the nuts, you little bitch."

Lady glared back "I may be a bitch, devil boy, but at least I'm not _your _bitch."

They stared venomously at each other for a minute before frowning.

Dante scratched his head "Uh, do you get the feeling we're forgetting something really, really important?"

Lady nodded "Yes, but it seems like it would be healthier to forget…"

Both gasped simultaneously.

"THE MISSION!"

They took off at light speed, copying Riko by leaving smoke-cloud figures of themselves behind.

And Alexander, who had been watching them though a spirit mirror for most of the evening and now lay twitching on the floor said;

"I'm not too…. Sure about them."

* * *

The danced (finally). And they made each other bleed.

Two in one. Go me.

*Passes out*


	17. Essence of hyper

As the alcohol wore off, the pain set in.

Lady massaged her neck with her free hand; the other gripped a particularly vicious looking 9mm "You really hurt my neck, demon." She grumbled, shooting him a poisonous look and wishing she could shoot him for real.

Dante wasn't ready to apologise "Yeah, well boo-fucking-hoo. I can't believe I can still walk after what you did to me."

Lady almost laughed, his words reminding her a little of their conversation in the morning of when the whole mess had stared, but stopped, remembering to be angry with him.

"You started it." She said childishly.

They walked down the dark passage in silence, the only sounds being their footfalls and water dripping from the damp ceiling. Though he wasn't in the best mood, Dante still remained vigilant. If he let his guard down, something would probably leap out of the shadows and try to slash his or Lady's throat.

And hers wouldn't be able to take that kind of assault.

Lady felt another bolt of irritation shoot through her as a slimy drip of water landed on her dress. It soaked into the white silk, staining a patch pale green "Do we even know where we're going?" She asked exasperatedly.

Dante stopped and turned, giving her a rather disrespectful look "It's a rule. Dark, slimy looking passageways always have something at the end of them." He said plainly.

Lady folded her arms over her chest "Oh? Like what, a brick wall?" She asked, nodding to indicate the space behind him.

Dante turned, and looked completely flabbergasted as the bare, slimy brick wall just sat there, being a wall.

Mocking him.

"That's it. I'm turning around right now, finding that damned warlock and beating him until he takes this curse off. World be damned." Lady said, but as she turned to leave, she just so happened to put her foot on a certain stone which just so happened to sink downwards, opening a passage beneath a certain hybrid's feet.

"YAARGH!" -CRASH!

"EEEK!" -WHAM!

Wanting the stars to clear from their vision, both just lay where they were for a while, not really thinking… Until Lady realized she was lying comfortably on top of someone and Dante realized he was lying almost as comfortably under someone.

In the darkness and confusion, as they struggled to get up, Dante and Lady just further entangled themselves in a mass of arms, legs and skirt.

The skirt being Lady's, of course.

"STOP TOUCHING ME, DEMON! YOUR HAND IS SQUEEZING MY… STOP IT!"

"YEAH, WELL, THAT ISN'T MY HAND, IDIOT! YOU'RE STICKING YOUR TITS IN MY FACE!"

This went on for some time, but in order to prevent boredom, let's just move it along a little bit, shall we?

Panting, gasping and making all manners of wheezing noises, the two finally managed to disentangle themselves from each other.

"Okay, where the hell are we?" Dante grumbled as he brushed dust that he wasn't even sure was there off his shirt.

"I don't know, Dante. Its pitch black." Lady replied numbly, stumbling to her feet.

"We have to be somewhere important. What kind of people would stick some random pit here if there wasn't anything to hide?" Dante replied.

If there had been any light, Dante would have seen Lady's skin go from clear alabaster, to the colour of bad milk.

"If it's a trap…" She managed to say. Her throat had suddenly gotten tight.

Dante paused and as his eyes adjusted to the dark, realisation crashed over him like a Tsunami "Oh…"

Even a "Fearless" warrior like Dante had to gulp when something tapped him on the shoulder with very, very long fingernails…

_I wish I had Rebellion with me… _Dante thought, as he turned to face some sort of cross troll, cross werewolf, cross… Rabbit?

Whatever, it had claws. Sharp ones. And a grin on its face too. And it wasn't an "Oh, I'm so glad to have company, I'll go put some tea on" sort of grin. It was more of a "Me hungry. You food." Kind of grin.

Dante took a step back and the thing grunted deeply, causing Dante to reach for Ebony and Ivory.

The thing stopped.

So did Dante.

Lady scratched her head, not knowing what was going on.

The creature suddenly curled up on the floor, whimpering.

Dante and Lady simultaneously raised their eyebrows.

"What. The. Hell?"

Obviously, the creature wasn't into shiny things (or maybe just guns) so the two used its apparent breakdown as an excuse to inch passed it, into the narrow passage behind it.

"That was weird. What idiots would set something like that to guard a secret passage?" Lady muttered.

"Hey, maybe they're stupid." Dante said hopefully. If they were, they would probably underestimate the pair's abilities.

"I don't think so. They study magic, Dante. You've gotta be smart to make sense of all those spells and curses." Lady said, sounding disbelieving.

"Oh? Then what's with the vault up ahead?" Dante replied with an annoyingly superior look on his face.

And indeed, there in the face of the stone was a large vault. It looked pretty old but as the two drew closer to it, they saw the thin layer of dust on it had been recently disturbed.

"Okay fine. We've found the vault. Now how do we get _in _to it?" Lady asked, rather unhappily. Dante looked momentarily pensive.

"Hmm. We don't know the code… How _do_ we get into it?"

That's what he said, but Lady could already see the slightly evil look in his eyes.

She took several steps back.

Dante drew out Ebony and Ivory and aiming both at the now pitiful looking vault, open fired. Lady shielded herself as much as she could, even at the distance there was a possibility of a ricochet hitting her, but Dante himself didn't have to worry about that sort of thing.

As the smoke cleared, Lady saw that though the vault door seemed dented, it didn't look about to swing right open for them.

"I didn't think it would work Dante. Now what?" Dante just stared at her and threw a kick at the already abused door, which crumpled under the force.

Lady's eye twitched.

Dante turned to her looking smug and was about to say something when she cut him off.

"Shut up. Don't you dare say anything."

Dante didn't, he just bowed like a gentleman showing her through the door. Lady stormed through, too angry to check for traps.

As it turned out, the only thing they had to deal with were a couple of drone demons and a quick bullet to the head was all that was needed to take care of them.

At the far end of the vault on an ornate pedestal sat an unattractive pink box.

"Is _that_ what we've been tortured for?" Lady growled, kicking a demon in the head to make it didn't get up again.

"It's probably what's in the box, babe." Dante said, placing his twin pistols back in their hidden holsters.

"Well, I want to know what we've gone through all this grief for." Lady said, picking up the box and before Dante could stop her, she flipped the lid.

"Lady! Wait!" He cried a second before a strange pink glow came from the box, hitting Lady square in the face.

She just stood there, looking at the box, puzzled.

"Babe? Hey, Lady, you okay?" Dante waved a hand in front of her unfocused eyes.

She looked at him and dropped the box.

"Heeey… Dante?" she said, her voice becoming husky as she took a step towards him.

He looked back at her, wide-eyed "What? Something the matter?"

She continued walking towards him "You know what….?"

Dante swallowed "What?"

And Lady suddenly leapt into his arms "You're really, really pwetty!" She cried, giggling like a child.

Dante would have dropped her, had she not been clinging to his neck "What the-! Lady, stop licking my cheek!"

"Aww, don't be maaaad, let's have some fun!" She giggled.

Dante felt his thoughts race as she got a mouthful of his silvery-blonde hair and started chewing it like it was grass.

"Oh my god… Lady's been infected with essence of Riko!"

* * *

Heh, not really. You'll find out next chapter. And don't freak out when Dante manages to lose Lady, despite the curse. There are answers to all questions…

Well. Most questions.


	18. Great balls of rainbow fire

_AN: Dedicated to CD-lover, a great reviewer with great character. _

* * *

Celia Davidson felt neglected.

Her stupid warlock husband was off dancing with some slutty little sorceress and she was expected to entertain his apprentice who had spent the entire evening peering down her dress and paying no real attention to her.

She pouted as she stared at her reflection in her wine glass _I just want to have some fun… If he gets to get drunk and go off with people then I will do the same._

She smiled elegantly at the apprentice, Daniel something-or-other "Please excuse me for a moment, I have to use the ladies room." She said getting up from the ornate table.

Daniel never stopped looking at her breasts and she could have sworn she saw him drool as they bounced slightly in the clingy dress she wore.

Celia repressed a shiver of disgust.

She began looking around for a suitable one-night stand and was disappointed that all the attractive men (though it was difficult to tell with the masks) were spoken for.

All the others were… Less than appealing.

_I need a real man. Someone who is handsome. Someone who is strong. Someone like…_

Celia bumped into someone and immediately began apologising "Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where…"

She stared at his clear skin, white-blonde hair and the muscles that all put bulged through his tight crimson shirt.

_Someone like HIM!_

"Oh, that's okay." Said Dante offhandedly. He was actually deeply concerned about finding Lady who had taken off somewhere, acting like a hyper schoolgirl.

_Where the fuck is she? _He groaned inwardly.

Celia grabbed his arm to prevent him from leaving. Ok, so she was being really forward, but she wasn't letting this one get away "Would you care to dance?" She asked in a sultry tone, flashing her killer 100-WATT smile, almost completely guaranteed to knock any hot-blooded man off his feet.

Except this man it seemed. He was far too distracted; he hadn't even glanced at this woman's breasts, a new high… Or low. It all depends on how one looks at it.

Dante almost said no, he even had the 'n' sound of 'No thank you' out before he realised it would be a covert way to track down Lady.

So once around the ball room it would be then. Only that.

Except Celia had other ideas…

"Oh, that would be nice." Dante said, taking the woman's gloved hand and leading her to the dance floor.

"My name is Celia Davidson, what's yours?" She asked in a purr.

Dante would have to be a complete idiot not to notice her tone now and gulped slightly. Getting away from her might prove difficult.

"Erm, Alexander." He replied, saying the first name that came into his head, causing the real Alexander, who was still watching through his spirit mirror to slap his own head and reach for some Tylenol.

"Oh? Alexander… What?" Celia said, pressing her hands against Dante's chest and feeling the muscles beneath the shirt.

_Yikes! She means business… Damn, under any other circumstances… _Said Dante's naughty half.

"Alexander…' _Vergil? No, first name. Sparda? Too famous. Arkham? Two infamous._

Dante gulped "Alexander Nevan." He said and winced, thinking that if the succubus knew, she would probably kiss the life out of him.

Literally.

Celia wasn't an idiot, far from it. She knew he had struggled to come up with that name. Either he was lying or he was drunk.

Ever the optimist, Celia went with the later.

"Nevan, huh? Pretty. Sounds a bit like a girl's name." Dante mentally slapped himself.

"Err, yeah. Does, doesn't it?" He said, looking around for Lady.

Celia didn't like being ignored; she had been ignored the whole evening and she wasn't going to stand for this new guy doing it too.

She'd give him one last shove in the right direction and if that didn't do it, she'd shove him in the wrong direction… Down the nearest flight of stairs.

Taking Dante's face in her hands, she looked deeply into his surprised blue eyes "I feel the energy between us is just too strong to resist." She said, moving in for a kiss.

She almost got one too, but Lady decided to intervene.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, SISTER!" She yelled over the music, causing Celia to move back from Dante. Lady pushed her way through the dancers and jumped onto Dante's back.

"Ya may be pwetty, an ya may be some fancy kinda sorceress, but I DON'T like you!" Lady said, hugging Dante's neck, making him choke.

"Who the hell are you?" Celia demanded, shocked.

Lady narrowed her eyes "Dun matter who I am, but this here is MY half-demon! I found him! He's… He's… He's mine." Lady dropped unconscious, still hanging on to Dante's neck. He groaned, smelling the alcohol on her.

Celia looked shocked then angry "HALF demon is it? Then I would wager you are that blasted son of Sparda! You've killed far too many of our servant demons over the years!' Dante gulped as Celia summoned a handful of blue flames and grinned wickedly "And they are very difficult to train." She said, taking a step forward.

By this time, the rest of the warlocks and sorceresses had caught on, summoning to their hands multi-coloured flames. They started advancing on the unfortunate Dante and his unconscious burden.

Celia tossed the flame ball up into the air and caught it again "You may be pwetty, and you may be some kind of fancy half-demon…' She said mocking Lady's tone.

Everyone prepared to throw their fire balls "… But we don't like you."

Dante gulped.

_Lady… At the moment, I don't think I like you either. _

* * *

There… Appeasement, CD-lover, you can put down the machine gun now… Please?


	19. Out! Out damn curse!

Alexander felt a pang of nervousness, and it wasn't because his original plan to get his invention back had literally gone up in smoke…

"YOU FREAK! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! I'LL KILL YOU!" that was why.

He didn't have a death wish; if he did he would have in fact opened the aforementioned door and dealt with the wrath of a seething, smoking, and medium-rare Dante.

He hadn't _quite _managed to dodge all of the fireballs that were thrown at him. Well, he'd been doing alright until Celia nailed him in the face.

Ouch.

Dante had gone into devil form and escaped by way of air, or rather skipping over people's heads with Lady unconscious in his arms. Alexander felt that Dante should be thankful he was alive (and forget that it was his fault), that way he could just remove his invention from Lady, and pay them their money… Oh, and try to do something about the curse.

… Maybe.

The door splintered and then flew off its hinges. Alexander cast a glamour to stop it from breaking his nose, resulting in him getting tickled by rose petals instead. He had always been one for the more flamboyant spells…

Dante threw Lady at him.

Alexander blinked as her weight sent him flying into a shelf and he ended up hitting his head and having several potions pour onto him. He yelped as his hair grew longer and changed from silver to hot pink.

"My hair! My precious hair! Look what you did!" the one thing that made Alexander loose his cool was damage to his prized silver locks.

"YOUR HAIR? WHAT ABOUT MY SKIN? YOU FUCKING SADIST!" Dante yelled, yanking the warlock up by his now stained purple jacket. Alexander started wondering why he had told Dante just where he could find him…

"Fix her,' Dante growled, jabbing a finger at Lady "And give us the money."

Alexander pouted, he was very upset about his hair, but if he refused Dante's requests… Demands, then it were likely Dante would ruin more than just his hairdo.

"Alright… If you could just, err, remove her from my leg first…" Dante looked down to see Lady snuggling up to Alexander's leg as if it were some sort of plush toy. Dante growled again and nudged her with his foot, she stirred but didn't awaken form her drunken slumber. Rolling his eyes, Dante nudged her harder, this side of kicking and she moaned "Mmm, Agni… Rudra…"

Dante's eyes widened and he dropped Alexander "I choose to ignore that." He said and leant down to whisper in her ear "Vergil in a thong."

Lady's eyes shot open and she started screaming bloody murder until she accessed her surroundings and noticed there was no immediate threat.

And no Vergil in a thong.

"She's awake, fix her." Dante said, glaring at Alexander who was running his hands through his hot pink hair in dismay. He looked at Lady mewling like a kitten, biting the leg of Dante's pants.

"Alright, but first you have to promise that whatever you see next, you won't kill me for…" He said nervously.

Dante folded his arms over his chest (after unsuccessfully trying to swat Lady away), "That depends; what exactly am I going to be seeing?" He got ready to draw out Ebony and Ivory.

Just in case…

Alexander examined Lady closely, causing her to stare at him and start tugging his pink locks. "Ehehehe, you look like a girl." She giggled manically.

"Umm, well… If I tell you, you might not let me… Perhaps I'll take my chances." Alexander replied to Dante and with that, took Lady by the shoulders and kissed her.

Dante indeed tried to kill him, but not before falling over in shock that is.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? GET OFFA HER, YOU FREAK!" He aimed Ebony at Alexander's head, the Warlock manoeuvred Lady in front of him as a shield.

Alexander eventually parted from Lady, who was now staring at him in shock "It was necessary to get my spell out of her, there was no other way." He said and Dante was just about ready to let it slide when Alexander added "But I must say it was pleasant, she just has the softest lips…"

Dante's fist was about ten centimetres away from Alexander's face, but Lady got there first.

And, for the second time that night, Alexander flew into a book case, hit his head and had potions pour on him. This time his hair went lime green with red spots. "NOOOOOO!" He cried like a stereotypical Hollywood movie fashion.

Dusting off her hands, Lady then wiped her mouth and glared at Alexander "You perverted little warlock, you'd better pay as our damn money." She growled.

Dante would have cried from happiness, but both his healing tear ducts and macho persona restrained him "Thank god, the normal Lady is back." He muttered.

"Just what the hell were those people thinking? Why would whatever that spell was help them with world domination?" Lady asked, her hands on her hips.

Alexander sniffled and pulled himself into an upright position "It changes your personality around… Makes you act the opposite of how you usually do, that is to say. Of course, it's imperfect. It tends to block other enchantments while in effect. Have you noticed how you were able to move apart?" He said. Dante's eyes widened

"Damn it, the first freedom I have in ages and I don't even get to enjoy it…"

He frowned, but then winced as some of his charred skin cracked "Ouch… But why _would_ that help them?" He asked. Alexander shrugged.

"I don't know, but I suppose if everyone were cursed then it would probably turn the world upside down… Think about it, perfect, sweet and innocent angels would turn into serial killers, ect, ect… God knows what would happen to the economy."

Dante nodded "Yeah, okay… Whatever. Pay us." Lady was looking at Dante with curiosity "What happened to you?" She asked.

Dante glared at her "I am making sure you never drink again." He answered.

Alexander handed them both sheaves of money "Here is the cash, please leave and never return." He said to Dante.

Dante and Lady Death glared™.

Gulping Alexander backed away "Oh, and err, the curse… Yes, well, it will extinguish at midnight… You have an hour left of each other's company." As the two turned to leave, he added "Use it wisely."

They frowned, not knowing what he was getting at. Can you say; 'Clueless'?

"And Miss Lady," Alexander called "You can visit me again, if you wish." He winked and Dante blackened his eye.

They began to walk in silence, both tired and not really having much of an idea where they were going.

Lady watched Dante's skin healing before her eyes "Does it hurt?" she asked, gently touching his arm. He paused, looking at her hand intently.

"Nah… It's okay." He said.

"Do I want to know what happened when I was out of it?" She asked and he shook his head.

"It's better for my image if you don't." He said, giving her a half smile. She laughed a little.

A sudden thought came to mind and Dante looked into her eyes "Hey babe… You owe me an explanation…" He said and she became aware of how close they were standing together.

"Uh…" she was _still_ stuck for words; she hadn't had time to think about what she was supposed to say. Dante frowned "Come on, Lady… I need to know." He put his hands on her waist and gently pushed her against the wall of a nearby building.

Lady gulped, she thought about stopping him, but she knew she had to keep her promise and explain just how she felt about him. Dante wondered what would happen if he kissed her then, if it would help her along…

He tried it then, taking her by surprise.

It just served to make her mad, and she pushed him back "Jesus, could you wait? If you rush me, I'll just say the wrong thing!" She yelled.

"Well, quit stalling!" He yelled back, frustrated.

"FINE! Don't blame me if it's not what you want to hear!" She exploded then took a deep breath…

And said the following;

"I do have feelings for you, okay! I don't know if I want to, but I just do! I didn't really like much about you at first, but since I've had to spend so much damn time around you, I think I might have forgotten why! I totally have the option of killing you, but I don't! I'd rather not have to go through the stress of this, but as I said, I don't have a fucking choice! I blame you entirely! I wish I could hate you! I've tried! I've tried to go back to the ways things were, but you just HAD to try and get along with me, didn't you? You had to be so damn difficult! Do you have any idea how hard it is to be near you, plus have to deal with all your teasing and sexual suggestions? Do you know what it feels like to not have your body obey your brain? How many times have I shot you in the head? I bet if I had a cent for every time, I'd be a goddamn millionaire by now! And did it help? No! Did it make me feel any better? No! Did it make me even more angry and frustrated? Yes! So when this curse goes away, don't try to call me, I won't pick up because you're unimportant and I hate you!"

She paused, looking shocked are own words.

"W-wait! I didn't mean the last part! I meant that… ARGH! Who am I kidding?" She sat down in the middle of the pavement, gasping for breath.

Dante just stared at her "So… You came up with all that just now?" He asked.

Lady nodded miserably "I think I'd just like to go home now…" she mumbled, stumbling to her feet but overbalancing. Dante caught and held her to his chest, gently yet firmly.

Lady's breath caught at the feel of his warmth on her skin and she wondered just how it would be to wake up every day with that warmth next to her. Dante's hands traced soothing patterns on her back as he rested his face against her head, inhaling the scent of her hair "Lady… Do you want to…? Would it make you happy to be with me?" He asked her softly.

Lady thought about his words. She thought about how liberating it would feel to stop pretending, to stop closing herself off from her feelings… And how it would feel to love him and be loved in return.

Just saying 'Yes' wouldn't suffice, and Lady took his face in her hands. She smiled into his eyes and moved in to kiss him "It would make me the happiest person on earth." She whispered, and very willingly pressed her mouth to his.

Alexander watched them through his spirit mirror, wearing a paper bag with eye holes over his head and talking into a phone "Yes, it's all worked out just fine. They just broke the curse themselves… Yes, if they hadn't admitted their feelings they would be stuck like that forever… No, well, yes. I suppose it is like a Chinese finger trap… You're talking a bit fast, I don't understand you… So… May I please have your word that you will stop harassing me?"

On the other end of the line, Riko giggled "Nope! It wasn't my idea to curse them, ya know. That was all you, I just happened to figure out how it would work to my advantage. Now you have to pay for cursing them!"

Alexander gasped "What? That wasn't part of the deal! You said specifically you would leave me alone if they got together and they have! Just because you think it's like some sort of romance fan fiction to manipulate people into admitting how they feel for each other does not mean I have to suffer!" He whined.

Riko twirled the phone cord around a pink nailed finger "No, but you were going to let them stay like that, right?" Alexander sighed.

"Yes… If you don't mind me asking, why did you think a man such as Dante had to have your help in, well, getting laid?" He asked.

Riko giggled again "Because Onii-chan has rotten luck with women!"

Alexander had to smile, despite his hair "Well, I think his luck might be turning." He said, glancing back at the spirit mirror…

Dante sneezed all of a sudden and Lady wiped her face "Eeew, don't tell me you have a cold." She said, holding him at arm's length.

Dante glared at her "No, I don't get sick…"

Lady smiled "Somebody must be thinking bad stuff about you." She said and brushed some hair off his face. He caught her hand and pulled her against him.

"Don't tell me it's you." He said, running a finger across her lower lip.

She kissed his finger lightly "Me? Perish the thought…" He leaned in to kiss her again

"So honest, that's why I love you." He said, relishing being able to say it.

With her lips almost touching his, Lady whispered "I love you too."

And funnily enough, now that the curse was gone, Dante and Lady never wanted to be apart again…

Until the next morning when Lady woke up, not remembering where she was and punched Dante in the face. So, they were kind of back to square one, but it didn't matter really, because at least they finally knew how the other felt.

And why did they awake together on the fateful mourning when this tale started? Well, we owe that to our good friend alcohol, the cause, and solution, to all of lives problems. Oh, and let's not forget a certain pink-haired menace who has a key to Dante's office.

End transmission! (I've always wanted to use that…)

* * *

So… you're not disappointed are you? I can always write a sequel… When I come up with an idea and feel like it.

By the way, did anyone notice my lame, half-assed attempt at trying to cover the mistake I've been trying to avoid for the entire story? Yes, I did accidentally say Lady moved more than a few feet away from Dante… Whoops… But at least I noticed before anyone told me, and I did in fact hit myself over the head saying "I am _so_ bloody stupid! Yes… Well, hope you enjoyed it, I may get my sister to help me write some songs and I can do Devil May Cry: The half-arsed musical (yeah, it's never going to happen!)

I love that term; half-arsed, Hee-hee; you wouldn't get too far with half an arse!

_Adios_ for now!


	20. It's so BIG!

"Oh, Dante… It's so… So BIG!"

"You like what you see, babe?"

"Mmm, yeah… But I don't think that I'll be able to…"

"Able to… What?"

"You… You know! I mean, just LOOK at it!"

"Come on babe, you don't have to be embarrassed."

"I know... But, it's so HARD!"

"Don't worry, just take a deep breath and relax… I'll just use my hand like this"

"Mmm… Okay, I think I'm ready now."

"Okay."

"Oh! Ahh! D-Dante, it hurts!"

"You'll get used to it, and then you can start enjoying it…"

"Ahh! How do you make it do that?"

"I just have a talent for it, babe."

"W-wait! I-I think I'm gonna… Ahh!"

"Woah!"

Dante and Lady picked themselves up, wiping sweat from their faces.

"Man, that was intense!' Said Dante and Lady hit him in the head "Ouch! What was that for? I thought you liked it!" He looked down at it.

Lady scowled at the half-demon and glared at it "It's too big, Dante, I don't think we'll ever be able to-"

Dante cut her off "Don't say it babe! You're just not ready for it yet. See, I'll show you what you should do" he reached for the huge weapon…

And Lady flung her self over it "No! Don't you ever touch the Kalina again! I regret ever saying you could modify her."

Dante glared at her "Well fine then! Just because the little devil huntress can't handle 'big objects' outside of the bedroom is no reason to act like it's my fault!"

Lady blushed furiously "Shut your mouth, demon! Like anything _you_ own is that big anyway!"

They childishly glared at each other, just resisting the urge to poke out their tongues.

It was just another day at Devil May Cry with our favourite anti-couple.

-The End

* * *

Face it, you love them arguing.

I felt like it needed an epilogue. This way, I won't have to write that musical which is good because I am A) awful at writing songs, and B) awful at coming up with plot ideas.

Thank you. ;


	21. To love and to perish

"You can be such a dick sometimes!"

Dante, who this insult was directed at, folded his arms and thrust out his lip in a pout. Childish, yes, but Lady, who was doing the yelling, didn't really expect much else from him.

Or was that a lie? She'd expected that for once he'd be able to pick up some groceries without her, but no. As usual, aside from the purple ooze in the back, the fridge was bare.

And as usual, Lady was pissed.

"Jesus, the _one _time I ask you to do something for me, Dante! The _one _time!" She seethed.

"Aw, come on babe! Shopping is _hard_!" moaned the hybrid. Lady's eye twitched.

"Stop whinging at me!"

"Well, stop asking me to do chicks jobs!"

Dante didn't quite manage to duck before the chair hit him and shattered.

"_Why you sexist, chauvinistic, pig-headed bastard_!' Lady screamed "You're plenty of stupid things, Dante, but I never took you for a _cunt_!"

"Isn't the word cunt a little bit sexist-?" _**Crunch **_"Ow. By which I mean… I'm sorry?" Lady rolled her eyes.

"Christ, Dante. If I'm as capable of kicking demon ass as you, how come you can't shop as competently as me?" She said, hands on her hips. Dante shrugged.

"Because you _always_ do the shopping? It's not like I'm as experienced as you...' Lady glared at him "I just figured you _liked _being the homemaker."

"I am NOT a homemaker!"

"No need to scream, babe."

"Fuck you!"

"Not for about three months, if I recall!"

"You're such a pig!"

"Oink."

"What do you think I am, Dante? Your wife?"

"I dunno. Would you like to be?"

"I- what?"

Dante grinned as Lady's jaw dropped open and she stammered "w-what _exactly _do you mean by that?"

"Well, I'm thinking we've been living together for the past year or so… Maybe I am thinking of you as my wife. So… What do you say?" He flashed his disarming smile at her and Lady stared…

And stared…

And stared some more…

And finally she said;

"… Come again?"

Dante rolled his eyes. "Don't give me excuses to make a 'that's what she said joke' babe. What do you think?" He said, carefully approaching the stunned demon huntress.

"This is so not a good time to be asking me that! You were just in the middle of doing a very good impression of a chauvinistic pig-head if I recall!" Lady yelled, shaking herself out of her daze.

"Hehe, yeah. I _am _a pretty good actor."

Lady managed to resist throwing something else at him.

"So tell me, what kind of qualities do you look for in a wife, Dante? Obedience? Big tits? Idiocy?"

Dante rolled his eyes again "How about independence and brains and Kindness…?' he said, backing her up against his desk "Strength? Beauty? _Sexiness…_?" He leaned in and kissed her neck. Lady's eyelids fluttered closed.

"D-Dante?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"You're still going to have to learn how to shop."

"I figured that would be the compromise."

And he kissed his bride-to-be and she kissed him right back. Lady didn't care if Dante could be a dickhead sometimes. It was what made him who he was and she loved him for that. Fortunately, Dante didn't care if she was a bitch sometimes. He loved her all the same…

… But he was sadly mistaken if he thought she could be easily cajoled out of getting a big ol' diamond ring and a traditional wedding ceremony. Because demon huntresses are girls, and girls in the end, will always demand pay-dirt.

-_End-_

* * *

Happy second anniversary for 'Of curses and clichés.' I didn't do anything for the first one. ; Just felt like I should say another thank you to the people who were with the story during its creation and also, one to the people who have read it since its completion.

Cheers, guys.

_-KD_


End file.
